Second time around

Once again I am faced with a reality that every person and book I consulted told me was true, but somehow it took happening to realize HOW true. I am pregnant. (I will take one second to say, "Yay, me!" before spending the next several minutes complaining.) I would think that, having gone through this once before, this would be no big deal, but my first pregnancy in no way prepared me for my second. My relationship to food and cravings are so different this time than they were last time. Last time, I wanted carrots, oatmeal, and milk. Chocolate seemed repulsive. This time, when I want anything, it is burgers, cupcakes or candy, and coffee - not that I give in to those cravings mind you, at least not too often. I also immediately gained about 7 pounds last time. This time I am working not to lose weight, even with my sweet tooth, because I often have no appetite. With Liam, I felt compelled to leave the room when I smelled red meat cooking, but didn't have any vomiting or nausea otherwise. This pregnancy has had me feeling hung over to some degree every day all day or multiple times per day since the beginning of July. Some days it manifests as vomiting, other days it is headaches and congestion, most days I feel nauseated and just a little off. In fact, I was pretty convinced something was wrong until my midwife showed me the fetal heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor and assured me everything seemed normal.
Both times I have had growing pains, but last time it was occasional stings or pricks. This time it is anything from knock-the-wind-out-of-you cramps when I switch positions quickly to constant pinched-nerve or bruised-muscle pain when sitting, walking, standing, and lying down in certain positions - perhaps sciatica. Also, this time I have had very sensitive skin. It feels like my thighs (and sometimes my arms or back) are chapped. It burns to put lotion on like they are chapped, but they don't look chapped and they don't get better when treated daily with oil or lotion.
Last time I felt more beautiful than I had ever felt, patient, and thoroughly excited. This time I feel ugly, cranky as a bull on branding day, and anxious a lot more often than I would like. First trimester pregnancy exhaustion is hard enough on its own - what with my body telling me I need to sleep for 12 out of every 24 hours - but add to that keeping up with a two-year-old and I end each day feeling run down if not flat run over.
I don't really mean to complain; I am happy and I am lucky. I know plenty of women who have it worse or just can't get pregnant. Still, I was spoiled last time around and was able to put my pregnancy first in life (subbing instead of having my own classroom and things like that). This time, I just have more on my mind, I suppose. Last time, I worried about what it would mean for me and Ian if our child had special needs whereas this time, I worry about what it will mean for Liam if his little sibling has special needs. Last time, I was immersed in my pregnancy even dreaming about Liam before he was born. This time, I read an article and just feel judged and angry that the writer has the audacity to give me advice. On the bright side, I was sick all of my second trimester last time. Maybe I was getting my sick out of the way early. Labor and delivery was long and traumatic so maybe this time I will get off easier. I can always hope, right?